I once read a post on FB about how this lady lost her phone somewhere while she was en-route to the airport due to her own carelessness. She was tried all means to get it back and never stopped praying to God because it meant so much to her. When she finally learned to accept that it’s just not meant to be hers, she got it back. That story – taught a valuable lesson. A very valuable lesson. It shows that God works in miraculous ways, in ways that you’d never expect. You just need to have faith and leave it all to his hands.
So,
I’ve been an emotional wreck for the last month. One month to be exact. I was
lost for so many days, unsure of what to do or what to feel. Some days I feel
so low that I just want to curl up in bed and do nothing. I wanted to share
what I was going through with someone, but I just can’t bring myself to. I just
can’t move on with that illogical excuse that he gave me and I knew something
was not right. I knew he was keeping something from me.
I
had to fight that lonely battle alone, and it was disastrous to myself. But I
held on to my faith that God will show me the truth eventually. He told me the
reason on Friday, and I got worst – I just couldn’t accept the it, again. And I
decided to finally talk to a friend, and she asked me a question which I forgot
to ask him.
On
Saturday night, she asked me along to JB with her friends and I tagged along
hoping that it will get the thoughts off my mind. We got home close to 4:30am
on Sunday. Decided to do tahajjud and isthikarah without thinking much. On
Sunday morning, I asked him the question that I forgot to ask… At first,
after looking at the reply, I felt my body curling up and I thought I’ll get
into another depression, but surprisingly less than half a minute later, I felt
lighter. I felt relieved. I was happy. I wasn’t depressed anymore. I finally
felt normal after a month.
That,
is when I realized that God works in a super secretive and miraculous way. I
don’t feel a tiny pinch of attachment anymore, and I swear to God that I’ve totally
detached myself from him in my head. Today will be the last day I see him, to
settle the phone bills and all. What happens after that is the future unknown
to myself.
Xox,
