Rushy
Monday. Monday is always not fun. Why? It’s either too boring or too busy. And
I don’t like it. This morning, I woke up early (surprisingly) and showered and
packed my bag. So excited to finally start jogging again. And I almost reached
work before 8am, but because I had to draw money I can’t. So right now I’m
still thinking if I should go off at 5:30pm since there was no one around when
I arrived earlier.
I
was doing my finance calculation this morning as I was paying my bills. Super
sad to see the numbers in my bank account decrease with every bill I pay. But!!
I realize that there’s two only months left to pay for the last outstanding
that my ex left me with. Yay!! Can’t be any happier than that.
Every
time I think about how much I’ve fork out to pay off the debts he left me with,
I cringe. It was $3,000 of personal loan, $600 of phone bill, $3,450 of Courts.
I received countless lawyer letters, and was on the verge of giving up. But I
scrimp on my every pay just to pay off his debts. Call me stupid cause I was
clearly ignorant in the name of love.
I
still remember that I took up the personal loan when I had my first full time
job. I wasn’t paid much, but they will minus off 30% of my pay monthly to repay
the amount I took. He told me he would pass me the cash monthly. So it’s back
to back and I agreed. Then I got tired of working there, and I resigned,
without having another offer. There was a one-month gap before I got my next
job, and I had to wait another month before I got my pay you see? By the time I
got my first pay, I was already receiving reminders to settle the outstanding
loan. He said he wanted to help, but he was jobless. So I kept on delaying it
until I got the lawyer letter. Not wanting to jeopardize my new job, I emailed
them to allow me to settle right after my pay day.
So
one was settled. I was diligent in my job, and I didn’t mind staying late. I
kinda like it because being at work makes me forget about the worries I have.
The technicians were kind enough to send me back each time I was working late.
Some of them got me lunch on certain days. My director always had cigarettes in
the office. See how I survived? After a while, I was more stable in my finance.
Got a pay raise, but I was spending lesser time with him he said. So I tried to
make time, and each time we went out, it’s always with his friends. Drinks,
club. And yes, all the expenses were on me.
One
day I told him I wanted to walk in Courts to look at the laptop. He fell in
love with a desktop. And he knew that I could afford to pay it in installments.
I was wary, but I made the mistake of choosing a longer installment period. He
was happy and he told me he’d pay for his share. Well, you guessed it, he never
did pay. The final installment is due on Feb 2017. But because I’m paying more
each month, I’ll finish paying it off this November. But yes, I’ve wasted
thousands on the interest.
After
we broke up, he told me he’ll settle off his phone bills. I got the letter, a
red one. It says that I owe Singtel close to $600. I was furious. He told me he’ll
pay on his pay day. Which never came. So I paid off the amount once I got my
bonus.
It
sucks that I still have to pay for something that I didn’t utilize, but that
serves me as a strong reminder, to never allow anyone – even your partner – to use
your name. Even in the name of love. Because if he really cares for you, he
will never put you in a situation like that. Because if he really cares about
you, he will work to get what he wants.
Funny
how I trusted him to be my husband? I mean, we were engaged. But job-hopping,
zero savings, clubbing and drinks every single time, side chicks? NO thanks. I’m
glad I made the right choice. You know, you should never leave the world with
debts. You can run away in this life, but know that I’ll rake up every single
cent in the hereafter. Because you deserve it for putting me thru all of that.
And I sincerely hope that you’ve changed your ways now. So that your current
partner can feel loved without doubts.
Anyway,
I’m so glad to see where I am right now. Even though there are bad times,
nothing can be compared to what I’ve been through. I’m so happy that I found
real friends, and people who can motivate me to be better and grow stronger.
Okay
somehow this post became long. Will post another one soon.
Xox,
