Monday,
always a bad start to the week.
Why
is it that even when your intention was to do good and help people, the repercussion
is always negative? I just don’t get it how something goods turns out to be
something bad. It’s these kind of feelings that will stop you from wanting to
do something good in the future.
Basically
I’m lost for words because I don’t know if I should be angry or hurt. All these
while, I’ve never ever ever ever say anything when it comes to you using the
whole “Ala belanje aku lah, kesian aku.
Murah rezeki kau”. But even then, everything has its limits right?
But
I just couldn’t take it anymore when you pushed me for it this month, using
Ramadhan as a base “to do good deeds”. If I have to be responsible for your
whole family, I might as well be a man and have my own family so that I can
support them accordingly. I’m not married and neither am I rich. My dad is still
responsible for me.
So
don’t go all emotional on me when all I did was to lay out the facts. It comes
to the point where you are taking advantage of my kindness, and please know
that when I did what I did, it’s out of my ihsan.
So don’t push me further into paying for all your clothes because whatever we
do, we have to be sincere in it. My sincerity was up to the part where I
understand that everyone is a little tight this month, and as such I volunteered
to pay for it first. For you to push me into paying for your family is just
wrong, and don’t expect me to lie to myself, especially in Ramadhan.
Your
rizq comes in many different forms,
and there has to be a reason as to why I didn’t volunteer to pay for everyone’s
clothes. Maybe it’s because the man of your house has to learn to step up and
be more responsible. Maybe it’s because you have to learn to accept things as
it is. Maybe it’s because you need to call out more to God.
There
was once when my dad said to someone; “Kalau
pakcik belanja orang, sebenarnya bukan pakcik yang nak, tapi sebab Allah
gerakkan hati pakcik untuk belanja dan mungkin ini adalah rizq kau untuk hari
ini”.
It
was short and simple, but it was definitely deep. Something for you to ponder
on. Have faith, during bad times and especially more during good times.
Current
point count (virtual – out of 10): 6
Xox,
P/S:
I’ll always love you and help you whenever you’re in need. Maybe it’s just not
your time yet. And even if the need arises it’s not hard to say please
instead of just pushing it onto me.
